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 Two plus two equals five. Believe otherwise, and face the consequences. As the lies get more tawdry, the penalties for disbelief increase. Truth is stranger than fiction, but fiction won't keep you warm in the middle of a polar vortex, and you can't date Stalin. or can you

 

Jan 28: Privacy is dead, Bolton drops a hint, justice unserved

Google ad tracking violates GDPR (and common decency), new docs reveal

US expat leaks thousands of Singaporeans' HIV statuses

Bolton hints '5000 troops' at Colombian border in pantomime of early dementia

4 cops shot in Houston "narcotics" raid [+ a followup (not written by me) from Free Thought Project]

Palin spawn released from halfway house

 

Jan 29: NY politics kills, disgusts; Texas GOP trips over its own virtue signaling

Mother dies in subway stair fall, Cuomo whines while starving MTA

Disgraced NY AG paid for sex abuse defense out of campaign fund

Texas GOP blames "leftism" for "holocaust"

US approves China-menacing missile system sale to Japan

Canada postpones Huawei CFO extradition

 

Jan 30: When corporations, government, and media unite behind the same lies, we can safely call it fascism

CNN force-feeds audience Kamala Harris' popularity but trips over reality 

Max Boot goes full White Man's Burden, thinks of mideast ForeverWar more like Manifest Destiny

Energy Dept sneaks half-ton of weapons-grade plutonium into Nevada

Airbus claims hack totally didn't affect airline safety, before investigating hack

21-car pileup in upstate NY as polar vortex descends

8-alarm fire at NJ paper factory menaces nearby residences

Jury awards Rand Paul almost $600K in neighbor-attack suit

 

Jan 31: Cold day in hell: Who Would Stalin Date, John of God's baby farms, obstruction of jaws-tice

Swipe right on Stalin: what if the Soviet dictator used Tinder?

Brazilian faith healer John of God ran "baby farms" of sex slaves, says activist

Jaws-tice served? Man bites dog - and FBI agent

After meeting with spy chiefs, Trump eats his criticism of "threat assessment"

Polar vortex causes chaos across Midwest

 

Feb 1: Sit down, shut up, & believe our lies, OR ELSE

DNA testing company gives FBI access to million-plus user database

Judge to Roger Stone: shut up! Trump adviser threatened with gag order

Snopes & AP to stop fact-checking for Facebook, but continue ominous 'partnership'

NY attorney general declares fake social media influence peddling illegal

Watch on radar moment meteor hits Cuba

 

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Ziofascists go for broke as crazy no longer feels the need to wear a mask. Who knew "body count" was a qualification for elected office? Meanwhile, the dog is being thoroughly wagged in Venezuela with the latest patsy handed the keys to the kingdom while 81% of Venezuelans say..."who?"

 

January 21: Israeli bloodthirst & the dead live again, while US grabs for Meng

Ex-IDF head runs for PM on record of slaughtering Palestinian civilians

Fox prematurely kills off Ruth Bader Ginsburg

No 'Planet 9' on solar system's edge? 'Massive disc' makes more sense

US files to extradite Huawei CFO from Canada for sanctions violations

 

January 22: Trump invites Covington kids, Congress disinvites Reps, Pentagon controls spaceships with its mind

Covington kids face continued death threats, White House invite as truth comes out

Congress mulls evicting live-in Reps

Pentagon's 'UFO program' also investigated wormholes, mind control, invisibility

 

January 23: Netanyahu's paranoia makes Kim look like the Dalai Lama; worlds collide

Netanyahu blames media propaganda for corruption probe woes

Earth seeded with life-creating elements via planetary collision

Florida (where else?) gunman shoots 5 in hostage drama at bank

Kim praises Trump's persistence in courting N.Korea

 

January 24: Spreading disease, fraud, & regime change, with a dash of police state repression

US-born missionary contacts forbidden tribe: GPS the new smallpox blankets?

US recalls some Venezuela diplomats but insists embassy remains open amid regime change drama

Finally free after Kafkaesque imprisonment, Iranian journo has new understanding of gov't unaccountability

Half of all Failbook users fake, says jilted co-creator

 

January 25: Consider the dog wagged

Ron Paul decries US 'hypocrisy' in Venezuela: democracy at gunpoint no democracy at all

Pompeo doesn't even know his own puppet's name: Guaidó in it for short haul at best

Trump swears he's gonna build the damn wall if no agreement reached in 3 weeks

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Trump's latest fundraising campaign promises to mail fake bricks to lawmakers because Americans no longer know how to heave them through the window themselves. We are so neutered by the shrill shrieking frauds that surround us on a daily basis that half of us accept lessons on the proper way to express masculinity from Procter & Gamble. Revelations may come at the point of a blade, but a Gillette razor is a poor substitute for the guillotine. Revolution? With a national case of Stockholm Syndrome this bad, who needs a police state?

 

January 14: It's raining men - or spiders - & another kind of Storm

Gillette 'toxic masculinity' ad spurs backlash

Sky-spanning spiderweb the stuff of nightmares

Spotlight-starved Stormy sues scandal-plagued Ohio vice cops

 

January 15: We'll burn that bridge when we come to it, coke & hookers edition

Tappan Zee Bridge goes out with a bang

DEA agent laundered $7mn in drug money in agency's worst scandal yet

UN survey reveals one in three employees sexually harassed

PressTV journalist held for no declared reason in Kafkaesque detention

 

January 16: Fake government, fake terror, fake elections, & how not to DIY medicine

Pelosi threatens to cancel Trump's State of the Union address

FBI 'foil' white house explosive plot by guy who thought he could trade car for rockets

Texas man raked in cash with fake PACs for all 3 2016 candidates

Irish man injected self with semen for 18 months in bizarre home back pain cure

 

January 17: Advertising do's & don'ts; SPLC slander victims fight back

PETA turns entire world off veganism with phallic veggie perv ad

Aeromexico trolls xenophobic stereotypes with 'DNA discount' ad

Pornhub traffic spikes in DC: furloughed feds keeping busy

Immigration group files RICO suit against SPLC for 'hate' smear

 

January 18: A tunnel in time saves nine; foam brick campaign invigorates Trump faithful; fun with fetuses; the oracle speaks

Conveniently-timed border-wall tunnels cross record number of asylum-seekers

Trump fundraiser promises to mail (fake) bricks to Pelosi & Schumer

March for Life claims victory, mainstream censorship

Pemex pipelines explode, killing fuel thieves

Silent Mueller releases rare statement denying Buzzfeed collusion delusion

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Earth's magnetic pole is racing away from North America at five times the speed it moved 25 years ago. It doesn't take much to guess why.

 

January 7: To kill or be killed by pigs

Belgium bans ritual slaughter: triumph of state (& animals) over church or xenophobia?

Cop fired after shooting "aggressive" chihuahua on camera

Dinosaur-killing asteroid caused mile-high tsunami

Uber driver "possessed" by app pleads guilty to 6 murders

 

January 8: True love, or marriages of convenience, between man, machine, & vegetable

Forget flying cars, here's one that...walks?

How Americans learned to stop worrying & love Big Brother

Doorbell-licking man arrested for love that dare not speak its name

DNA warrant served on male staff at facility where comatose woman gave birth

 

January 9: Money is a weapon. Never forget it

Most Americans don't know when - or if - they'll pay down their debts

Yellow Vests planning bank run to collapse French financial system

Scientists pick up deep-space repeating radio bursts: knock knock, who's there?

Coast Guard to furloughed employees: have a garage sale! babysit! file for bankruptcy!

 

January 10: Breeding ourselves out of existence, but wouldn't you? Even the magnetic pole doesn't want anything to do with us

American birthrates at 30-year low, far below replacement rate

The Amazing Michael Cohen, dancing bear of the Resistance

Almost 300 cases of Norovirus send cruise ship back to port - to be filled with a new crop of victims

Cops in Canada can breathalyze you anywhere, even at home, under insane new law

Why is Earth's magnetic pole running away from us? 

 

January 11: Tulsi 2020 & the world's most punchable face

Twitter melts down over Tulsi Gabbard's 2020 candidacy

Attention whore whores for attention by proclaiming he'll be gay for a month

Girl wrecks car while attempting 'Bird Box challenge' on highway

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In 2000, doctors in Israel went on strike. The death rate dropped so precipitously that funeral directors complained. As the government shutdown continues & our lives remain noticeably unchanged, watch the rats scramble to right the ship lest we realize we do not in fact need them at all. As someone more powerful than i once said, sit back relax & enjoy the ride, or die trying:

January 1: Shooting ourselves in the foot, figuratively & literally; roadkill on the information superhighway

Americans ring in the new year by accidentally shooting selves, others

"Let's make a deal?" Trump offers olive branch in shutdown talks

Hackers threaten to expose 9/11 truth

Gentlemen, start your engines - and grills: Oregon legalizes eating roadkill

Bill Gates hunting for new nuke partner as new regs rule out China

January 2: See no evil (in Afghanistan, the Capitol, or your own chromosomes)

Trump looks to end public reports from military watchdog after SIGAR gives him F for Fraud

McConnell vows Senate won't even read House bill without wall funding

Never mind the crumbling subway system & skyrocketing homelessness, NYC adds third gender to legal docs

China lands probe on unexplored "dark side" of moon

Netflix warns users not to hurt themselves imitating Bird Box - after starting viral trend themselves

January 3: House plays pretend; the Right hates dancing; antiwar senator rumored for Pentagon post; i can has cheezburger?

House Democrats scramble to be first with impeachment resolution

House Democrats pass bills to end shutdown sans wall, despite inevitable Trump veto

Too good to be true? Antiwar ex-senator Webb rumored to replace Mattis as Defense Secretary

Man promised free food for life sues Burger King: most American story ever?

Leaked college vid of Ocasio-Cortez dancing backfires, inspiring collective "awwww"

January 4: Not-so-immaculate conception; AOC not crying over spilt ink; Escape Room turns deathtrap; more time for Mueller; Ellen's audience does not forgive

Woman braindead for 14 years gives birth unexpectedly

Ocasio-Cortez gets more ink before starting work than most in Congress do in whole career

Escape Room in Poland becomes reality in horrific fire tragedy

Mueller milks Russiagate grand jury for another 6 months

Ellen calls for fans to forgive Kevin Hart for ancient anti-gay tweets; fans rip her head off

January 5: Child porn ringleader gets what he deserves; TMI from JK Rowling; TSA on grope-strike - will Drake step in? 

Child-porn ring leader serving 40 years for victimizing 100+ girls murdered in prison

Chamber pot of secrets: JK Rowling gives fans TMI about wizards' bowel habits

TSA calling in sick en masse to protest forced labor during shutdown - air travelers rejoice

Drake unpersoned after video of underage fan-fondling resurfaces

Trump admits 'no headway' in shutdown meeting

Ikea accidentally screens porn in Hong Kong store

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