They were right - I've been a Russian bot all along.* Here's my first week with RT:

October 8: the unexpected side effects of runaway political correctness; pig convicted of murder in unicorn verdict

Gender danger: Trans student barred from locker rooms during school shooting drill

"No other civilized country allows the police to kill with impunity," black activist tells RT

October 9: US weapons systems using "password" as password; SecDef insists on battle-ready planes, the better to intimidate you with; creepy porn lawyer clings to media spotlight 

Homeland Insecurity? "Entire generation" of US weapons easily hackable

Mad Dog Mattis wants 80% of key fighter jets ready for war

"Resistance" poster boy Avenatti is picking a literal fight with Donald Trump Jr.

October 10: Tesla to be engulfed by Murdoch borg; flying is nuts; most vets want US out of Afghan quagmire; Pompeo pouts over being left out of Korean talks

Murdoch heir rumored to be in line for Tesla chair, Musk denies in 4:20 tweet

"Emotional support squirrel" on plane drives passengers nuts

US veterans overwhelmingly want troops out of Afghanistan - poll

Pompeo complains about being left out of Korean peace talks

October 11: Facebook deplatforms hundreds of popular accounts; Branson grows morals over Khashoggi disappearance; Ecuador praised for human rights while denying Assange his; creepy robot learns new moves

Facebook purges hundreds of political pages, some with millions of followers

Virgin Galactic boss Richard Branson suspends $1bn Saudi investment over Khashoggi disappearance

Ecuador gets UN praise for 'freedom of expression' as Assange remains gagged in embassy limbo

Boston Dynamics' Atlas robot can now do parkour, chase squishy humans up stairs

October 12: Ethics watchdog sees Hatch Act violation in Kanye selfie; friendly neighborhood Spider-Cops coming to NYC; 5th graders given creepy sex survey; your DNA can be used against you; FDA stiff with rage

Sarah Sanders' photo with Kanye is illegal, ethics watchdog says

Friendly neighborhood spider-cop? Web weapon designed to subdue mentally ill troublemakers

Creepy survey asks 5th-graders about their sex lives

It's frighteningly easy to track someone down via DNA, reveals scientist

Viagra in vape liquid has FDA hot & bothered


*I'll take a Turing test if you will!