As the year draws to a close, our vulture overlords are scrambling to pick the last bits of meat off the American carcass. Demanding we stay home quivering under our beds rather than visit friends and family (spending time with people you actually like is the number one cause of OMFGVIRUS, right up there with logic and critical thinking), the ruling class has tripped over their own programming, forgetting that our national attention span has long since been whittled down to 12 minutes - forget 12 months! OMFGVIRUS fatigue is real, and it might be our only hope of de-podding our pod people. Certainly it's best to exploit this before the virus-dealers distract everyone with an EMP - as promised by Klaus "my face melted when I opened the Ark of the Covenant and all I got was this goofy Star Trek outfit" Schwab. In a just world, he'd be touring schools giving motivational talks about how kids shouldn't desecrate ancient artifacts, but we don't live in one of those.

 

December 14: Believe women, unless Cuomo; Assange pardon hoax; first Pornhub, then the world

#MeWho? Media circles wagons around Cuomo, tuning out sex harassment allegations

Internet explodes with rumor Trump to pardon Assange - only to be disappointed yet again

**Pornhub's ban on 'non-verified' uploaders is sinister template for looming internet crackdown

 

December 15: Corporations above the law; never trust a turtle; the house (of Rothschild) always wins

Outrage builds as Congress poised to shield corporations from all Covid-19 liabilities

Senate majority leader McConnell folds like cheap suit, embraces president-elect Biden

**Biden stacks cabinet with Goldman Sachs duo hours after electoral college vote

 

December 16: Pandermonium backfires; moar cronyism plz; Beetlejuice loves crooked cops; Pfizer sucks at PR

**Buttigieg heralded as first LGBT cabinet member as Trump's DNI Grenell forgotten

**Who needs competence when you have ass-kissing? Biden follows in Trump's footsteps

Chicago mayor tries to suppress footage of police raid on wrong home, threatening to sue victim

Pfizer insists it's fixing problem as yet another health worker suffers allergic vaccine reaction

 

December 17: First Amendment filleted; triumph of the shill; no work for you; hypocrisy? in MY government?!

**Cuomo declares war on First Amendment with Trojan-horse ban on Confederate flags

Facebook reverts to pre-election censorship levels, declaring Mission Accomplished

US unemployment claims soar as Congress refuses to lift a finger for economic aid

Rhode Island governor joins lockdown-hypocrite hall of fame, violating her own rules

 

December 18: Who needs truth when you have clout; take your mask & shove it; BeastMarks, the hot new crypto; creepers gonna creep; shut up & look pretty

Pentagon pauses meetings with Biden administration, breathless report claims

NYTimes retracts podcast featuring bogus 'ISIS executioner' who never went to Syria

Sweden's call for masks on transit triggers explosion of schadenfreude - despite no mandate

Presidential candidate turned Great Reset shill Yang embraces digital vaccine certificates

Owner of world's largest smurf collection (& token white van) unsurprisingly convicted of child rape

**Washed-up sports celebrity warns other washed-up celebrities against public wrongthink