In the blink of an eye, Operation OMFGVIRUS has been swapped out for Operation Race War, and don't you dare ask what happened to our bleak socially-distanced future - the aim is to get us to relax just enough to almost believe it was all a bad dream before whacking us with the Second Wave (to be blamed on all those irresponsible protesters - whatever could have made them all disregard our SAGE advice and flood the streets to demand justice? Surely not a pack of malevolent media vultures gleefully cackling over the military precision with which we're being clobbered with each successive blow - just when you thought the lockdown was over, it's curfew time! and was that a local ADL representative who just tossed that brick through your window? I could have sworn i saw him at Temple the other week, what's he doing wearing that armband...) and revealing they've been contact-tracing us all along, and aren't we lucky that they have, because there are criminals about.
May 25: Millennials love robots; hidin' Biden; Kushner makes his move; Twitter bounces checks
May 26: Fired corona IG quits; Moore doc gets the boot; social distancing for brothels; SpaceX makes powerful friends
May 27: Lockdowns killing homeless; Operation Race War; Cuomo memory-holes kill order
May 28: Trump takes aim at section 230; congressional catfight; #deathto sociopathic mommyblogger
May 29: Twitter says shut up; Van Jones plays Malcolm X; pigs disavow umbrella man; moar sanctions; Brooklyn pig roast