They were right - I've been a Russian bot all along.* Here's my first week with RT:
October 8: the unexpected side effects of runaway political correctness; pig convicted of murder in unicorn verdict
October 9: US weapons systems using "password" as password; SecDef insists on battle-ready planes, the better to intimidate you with; creepy porn lawyer clings to media spotlight
October 10: Tesla to be engulfed by Murdoch borg; flying is nuts; most vets want US out of Afghan quagmire; Pompeo pouts over being left out of Korean talks
October 11: Facebook deplatforms hundreds of popular alt.media accounts; Branson grows morals over Khashoggi disappearance; Ecuador praised for human rights while denying Assange his; creepy robot learns new moves
October 12: Ethics watchdog sees Hatch Act violation in Kanye selfie; friendly neighborhood Spider-Cops coming to NYC; 5th graders given creepy sex survey; your DNA can be used against you; FDA stiff with rage
*I'll take a Turing test if you will!