If we all just stopped consuming poisonous establishment media, the OMFGVIRUS would die of, well, itself. Why is this so hard to do? What do you, the people who can finally read my website now that it's out (however temporarily) from under the thumb of Unit 8200's kiddie coders, get from reading that idiocy? You know, as well as I do, that typing any random 3-digit number into the search engine of your choice followed by "cases" will turn up an article insisting that there are that many cases in some municipality somewhere in the US. Yet you, like me, don't know anyone who has definitively died "of coronavirus." You may know someone who died "with coronavirus," but that designation applies to everyone from building-jumper suicides to motorcycle accidents to cancer deaths to Saint George Floyd himself. An admittedly unscientific study has revealed people with no TV in their homes are almost guaranteed to have retained their sanity amid this mess - while those who have a TV, no matter what other factors might theoretically disqualify them from becoming a raving Corona Cultist (artistic talent, a stint in a punk-rock band, a history of anti-authoritarian journalism, etc etc), have fallen victim to the worst kind of groupthink and become total pod people.
Throw. Your. TV. Out. The. Window.
It may save your life.
This public service announcement brought to you by the Manatee of Sanity, your best pal in these trying times.
October 5: Insult to injury; keeping things positive; cringe workout; killing in the name of; further down the woke-racism spiral
US states attempt to claw back individuals' Covid-19 unemployment overpayments as corporations keep on pillaging
White House press secretary diagnosed with Covid-19 as Rose Garden gloating intensifies
'Slavery was hard & so is this,' says world's most oblivious personal trainer after bondage-themed routine sparks controversy
UK conservatives oppose bill that would unleash everyone from MI5 to Food Standards Agency to break laws on the job
University of Kentucky forces RAs to submit to self-flagellatory white guilt training with a side of 'woke segregation'
October 6: Remdesivir commercial ends as vax promotion begins in earnest - non-team-players will be slaughtered
Trump's insistence he's 'feeling great' after returning from hospital is still too much for angered #Resistance
Bill Gates suggests US start working on best ways to deceive populace into taking his toxic Covid-19 vaccines
FDA rolls out stricter guidelines for Covid-19 vaccine, scuppering Trump's dreams of Election Day jab
No international travel for Australians until vaccine rollout - but it'll save the economy, 2021 budget insists
October 7: Gender trenders gird their loins; US catches the terrorists it created; undecided redefined; fields of uselessness; Russiagaters deflated
Kids can't consent to gender reassignment, UK lawyer claims in landmark case against NHS' kiddie gender clinic
US intel agencies celebrate extradition of 'ISIS Beatles' who killed 4 American hostages
NBC town hall of 'undecided voters' recycles multiple self-described Biden supporters
Wisconsin finally opens long-dormant Covid-19 field hospital outside Milwaukee, citing case surge filling hospitals
**Kamala Harris embraces gender stereotypes to cover for utter failure at appealing to voters
ICO probe of Cambridge Analytica ends ignominiously with no indication firm interfered in Brexit or colluded with Russia
October 8: Pence who? Yelp for the stepped-on; Twitter to unmask Seth Rich storyteller; 'democracy' means no dissent allowed
USA Today slammed for omitting Pence from VP debate winner poll
Yelp debuts warnings for 'businesses accused of racist behavior' as BLM activism on platform surges
Twitter must cough up identity of user who sent Fox 'forged FBI documents' supporting Seth Rich/DNC conspiracy
**WSJ epitomizes 'murican democracy - by trying to intimidate RT's advertising partners into dropping the network
October 9: Koronavirus Kommissar Klusterfux; Yelp helps destroy few remaining businesses; ixnay on the oter-vay raud-fay
Cuomo falls for prank call & accuses Trump of 'fomenting the Orthodox' after Jews rebel against his mask gestapo
**Yelp's racism scarlet letter empowers thugs & rage mobs operating under cover of social justice
Trump's ex-DNI locked out of Twitter for posting mail-in ballots sent to his dead friend's parents